i can't post freely to my instagram account. i was locked out of instagram on 4 july 2018 after i hosted an alternative commemoration of the fourth that asked what freedom means to a native person, a slave, a colonial subject, a baby in a cage. who or whatever is operating that account occasionally updates my feed with photos that i have sitting in the cue. i can't delete the stuff that's there, in the cue. i also can't log out of the app because stuff's waiting to be uploaded. i'm sure there's other stuff i could do, but after years of being battered about digitally, i get flummoxed and agitated and overwhelmed. creepy, right? less than two months ago, facebook, instagram's parent company, was host to a fake page that used my full legal name and birth information to sell porn and sex. i don't know how long the page was up, though i spent months in battle to have it shut down. at one time, i had accumulated 15 automated responses from said company assuring me the fake page was in keeping with its community standards. then, one day in may or june 2018, the fake page selling porn and sex disappeared, as did all those automated assurances i'd accumulated in facebook messenger. i've been the target of data hacks since 2014 when i learned my former partner, a google engineer, was a sexual predator who used his professional credentials and corporate issued computer to entice and entrap women into sex. gigantic trigger warning! (anti-black racism, intimate violence) the google engineer didn't just use his job title to target and seduce other women of color, he mostly targeted black women. he used my personal knowledge and expertise as a woman of color who works to end white supremacy to do it. i, for example, coached him on how to become a better mentor to women of color. he used my teaching to groom black women for sex, offering them professional opportunity and corporate mentorship, and he used his corporate issued computer to do it. after i learned of his actions in 2014, he began deleting his digital records -- and ours. then mine? i started posting my personal business on linkedin in 2016, all my stuff was hacked -- my computer, my phone, my academic accounts, my personal google accounts, etc. i lost half a book manuscript and more than a decade of research. i was terrified. i couldn't complete the contracts i was hired to do, ones that focused on ending police violence and helping sex workers be safer when it comes to the cops, policing, and detention. i soon fled my home. i've been on the road since then.